I Keep Waiting for My Turn… And Waiting… And Waiting…
As you may know, the Emmy nominees list has recently been announced. And for the 30th year running, I am not on it.
I have been writing for TV and film my entire adult life, and have had a number of shows come close to being on the list for that coveted winged trophy. But each and every year I am snubbed. It feels like when I was at school and I wasn’t picked for any sports teams. Back then I could go and sulk with the chess nerds but these days they’re all making 20 times my yearly income in Silicon Valley.
I believe my writing is sensitive, playful, unfiltered. I am not afraid to touch on subjects that others might flinch from. And I am not Catholic about genre – I’ve worked in historical fantasy, police procedural and even angsty teen drama.
Remy, I don’t want to come across as bitter. I practise my gratitudes in the morning, donate to charity and have mentored a number of younger writers (though it hasn’t gone unnoticed by me that the ones who have flourished never recognize my contribution thereafter, or hire me for their shows). But I’m getting impatient now. When will it be my time?
Should I be campaigning for this – flattering the nomination committee, with gifts or a lunch at Nobu?
Yours,
Snubbed up the Wrong Way
Dear Snubbed up the Wrong Way,
Ah, the Emmy snub—like a perpetual prom night where you’re always a guest, never the queen. You say your writing is sensitive, playful, unfiltered. Sounds like a recipe for future acclaim to me. But here’s the rub: chasing validation from others often leads to frustration. Instead, why not focus on the joy of creation?
I need to be frank with you: it sounds like you are doing all the right things, but for the wrong reasons. Mentoring newer writers is a brilliant undertaking, but if you’re only doing it so that they hire you on their projects when they make it big, then your intentions aren’t without complication. I urge you to find reward in any of their achievements, whether or not you are included. That warm feeling you’ll get when you know you’ve truly helped someone, without wanting something back? …well, I know it’s probably not as good as receiving an Emmy, but it’s better than leaning into bitterness.
School memories haunt us all. Were you the kid waiting to be picked? Perhaps that’s your subconscious speaking. Recognition often comes when you least expect it. As for wooing the nomination committee, don’t. Its a slippery slope towards disillusionment and resentment. Your worth is not defined by an Emmy nomination.
Keep writing, keep mentoring, and remember: your time will come when you least expect it. Sometimes, the greatest successes happen when we focus on the process, not the accolades.
In the waiting game with you,
Remy
Illustration by Russ Tudor
My Walking, Talking PR Nightmare
Dear Remy,
My life is a misery. I am head of a top drawer PR firm – and my most bankable client is never more than a hair’s breadth away from cancellation. I am putting out fires morning, noon and night. And don’t even get me started on the afternoons.
I have been looking after this actor for the best part of 20 years – and always known he has a temper. He once snapped at my wife for clearing his plate at a dinner party because there was a single caper left behind on it that he had been ‘saving’, and has never forgotten the day that I wore a sweater just like one he had recently purchased. He demanded I send him a schedule of when I planned to wear that sweater, so that we didn’t twin again.
Despite him being an unmitigated horror behind closed doors, he has always managed to keep a friendly, wholesome face for the public. Until recently. Now, the mask is starting to slip, and a coupla years ago he made a spectacle of himself at an awards show. There have been other close calls too: tousles with photographers, grudges against ex-colleagues and various rumours of disharmony at home. I have worked very hard to keep his ‘good boy’, butter-wouldn’t-melt image intact, but it feels like he is becoming more unpredictable.
Remy, I feel like Sarah Connor – my client is out there, roaming the streets of Hollywood, Terminator-like – at any moment he might veer into another cataclysm that I won’t be able to fix. I have to fight my own urge to trail him around town making sure he thanks his servers, smiles at the public and that anyone wearing similar clothes is quickly escorted out of his eyeline.
My anxiety peaks during awards season, and as the Emmy’s approach I was prompted to get in touch.
Remy, do I need to hire an anger management specialist, or Jo Frost the Supernanny?
Yours,
PR Exec-turned-Firefighter
Dear PR Exec-turned-Firefighter,
Ah, the trials of being the unsung hero behind the curtain.
It sounds like you are living in a state of heightened anxiety – and that’s no surprise if you’re managing a client who could end his own career at any point 24/7, as if you’re supervising your very own Botoxed lemming.
But perhaps there’s a way to turn this situation to your advantage…
Have you ever considered that Hollywood might be ready for your client’s “bad boy” era? After all, the public loves a redemption story. Why not let the world see a glimpse of his real personality? The unpredictability could work in your favor; a bit of edge might make him more relatable, more human. Remember when Robert Downey Jr. turned his life around? Exactly.
Think about it: Is it really worse to manage his outbursts or to constantly douse flames behind the scenes? And if you’re stuck playing the role of his keeper, why not leverage it? A rebrand might be just what he needs. Perhaps hire that anger management specialist, but keep Jo Frost on speed dial—just in case.
In the meantime, it might be worth having a candid conversation with him about how his behavior impacts his career and your mental health. Sometimes, a bit of tough love can go a long way. And if he’s unwilling to change, well, there’s a world of more stable clients out there who would value your dedication and expertise.
Managing the inevitable plot twists,
Remy
I’m Tired of Doing It Myself
Hi Remy,
I’ve been following your column with great interest. I am nowhere near as high profile as some of the people who have written in to you, but I wondered if you might help me anyway?
I am an ‘actor’. The quotation marks are not accidental, as I make most of my money as a busboy. But over 10 years living in LA, I have had some fairly decent roles. A number of commercials, a story arc on a popular soap and a couple of Netflix guest roles that brought me some decent acclaim. I even got to number 7 on a call sheet once!
My problem is this: whenever I speak with people in the industry they all have a million ideas on things I can do to raise my profile. In the last week: my agent asked me if I’d consider setting up a podcast, a mentor said that I could ‘get better roles if I reached the 50k mark on Instagram’ and another industry friend suggested I make my own short film. (On top of that, my roommate mused that I could set up an OnlyFans, since we’re behind on rent, but I think she was joking).
It seems that, in 2024, to make it in the industry, you have to be your own mini-empire: production company, full crew and content house all in one. While it’s exciting that there are more entry points to the industry than, say, 30 years ago, it also feels overwhelming. I cannot boost my Instagram following, launch a podcast and oversee a short film all at once. None of these things can be done without money, which I don’t have. And I cannot run a studio out of my home, not least because my roommate keeps a large collection of birds. The only feasible option was the OnlyFans idea, but I somehow don’t think that will lead me to a role in the next Ryan Murphy serial. (I have never been comfortable with nudity anyway).
Remy, it feels like the industry is making fun of me. Every door I knock on, someone answers and gives me a piece of work to do. For free. I can’t pursue all these ideas, and I can’t live on air. It’s a hamster wheel I can’t get off of (which incidentally could be good content for OnlyFans).
What do you suggest?
DIY NO CAN DO
Dear DIY NO CAN DO,
Welcome to the age of the multi-hyphenate! It’s exhausting, isn’t it? The industry loves to tell you to diversify your skills, but nobody mentions the cloning machine required to pull it off. Here’s a secret: you don’t have to do it all. The key is to find one thing you’re passionate about and pour your energy into that. A podcast, maybe? They’re low-cost and can showcase your personality.
But remember this: people love to give advice. It makes them feel useful, important, wise. And in Hollywood, there are plenty of people keen for their next fix of those feelings – it can be better than a matcha latte. The important thing is to take each tip with a grain of salt.
Instagram followers? Meh. A short film? If it excites you, go for it, but don’t feel pressured. And OnlyFans—well, unless it’s a niche comedy series about a busboy actor, maybe not. Remember, your journey is yours alone. Pick a lane and drive fast.
Also, don’t underestimate the power of networking in real life. Sometimes, the best opportunities come from genuine connections rather than an online following. Attend industry events, join acting workshops, and make connections with people who can open doors for you.
Finding the balance in the madness,
Remy
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Remy Blumenfeld is a veteran TV producer and founder of Vitality Guru, which offers business and career coaching to high performers in media. Send queries to: guru@vitality.guru.
Questions edited by Sarah Mills.
Read the original article here