John Oliver says that folks who are praising last week’s vice presidential debate for its “civility” are missing the point.
“The debate included discussions on how to carry out mass deportations and whether women should have control over their own bodies,” the Last Week Tonight host said during Sunday’s opening segment. “Etiquette is kind of beside the point. It’s like reading a ransom note and going, ‘This cursive is just so lovely. Look at the capital Y in “You have 24 hours before he dies.” There are still some people who were raised right.’”
Incidentally, the debate — between Donald Trump‘s Republican running mate, J.D. Vance, and Kamala Harris’ Democratic running mate, Tim Walz — took place at CBS Broadcast Center in New York, which is also home to Last Week Tonight. “In fact, this studio served as the post-debate spin room, meaning that you are all breathing in the same air particles that were once inside Don [Trump] Jr.’s nose and mouth. So if anyone in this audience wakes up tomorrow feeling like you have a sore throat and you’re a total disappointment to your father, that is probably why,” Oliver quipped.
Oliver showed clips of various commentators noting that the candidates were “civil” and “polite” and noting “that’s what the country has been saying they want more of.”
Replied Oliver: “On the list of things America’s been saying it wants more of, civility is at best No. 6, after affordable healthcare, gun control, cheaper housing, reproductive rights and starring vehicles for [Bridgerton star] Nicola Coughlan.”
Oliver then went on to note that a few days after he debate, Vance took part in an event dubbed the Courage Tour, hosted by Lance Wallnau, an evangelical preacher who is also founder and CEO of the Dallas-based Lance Learning Group, self-described as “a strategic teaching and consulting company.” Oliver described Wallnau as “a prominent far-right Christian nationalist” who has described Harris as someone who has used “witchcraft” and has an “occult spirit … operating on her and through her.”
Joked Oliver: “First, Kamala Harris isn’t the one who’s been relentlessly promoting witchcraft. You’re thinking of Universal’s marketing department,” he quipped, showing a photo of the upcoming movie musical Wicked. “And this guy clearly shouldn’t be commenting on the election. He should be standing in a tent in 1856 selling children mercury tonics that he claims will let them talk to ghosts.”
He also criticized Wallnau for saying that God intervened to bring Vance to Pittsburgh when Hurricane Helene disrupted Vance’s schedule.
“As you know, we have vice presidential candidate J.D. Vance coming,” Wallnau said in a video Oliver played. “And I’ll be honest with you, I take that as a direct act of God because it just came together in a certain way. Pittsburgh wasn’t even on the map. It was supposed to be North Carolina, and God switched it that fast.”
Oliver’s response: “If you believe in a God who’d unleash a devastating hurricane just so J.D. Vance could spend an afternoon outside Pittsburgh, your God sounds like an asshole.”
Oliver also played a clip of this exchange between Vance and Walz talking about the 2020 presidential election results during last week’s debate.
Vance: “Remember [Trump] said that on January the sixth, the protesters ought to protest peacefully. And on January the 20th, what happened: Joe Biden became the president, Donald Trump left the White House.”
Walz: “Did he lose the 2020 election?”
Vance: “Tim, I’m focused on the future.”
Walz: “That is a damning non-answer.”
Oliver called Vance’s response “one of the most generic store-brand fuck-boy deflections.” He added: “That answer was especially glaring considering the day after the debate, a judge unsealed special prosecutor Jack Smith’s 165-page brief in the election fraud case against Trump reminding us yet again of the ridiculous steps he took to avoid leaving office.” In the brief, prosecutors claimed they spoke with a White House staffer who said he overheard Trump telling family members that it doesn’t matter if you won or lost the election, you still have to “fight like hell.”
“But it super matters if you lost. It’s kind of the main thing that matters,” Oliver said, adding: “If he loses next month, there is every reason to believe Trump will dispute the results again. And Vance has made it clear, he’s got no problem with that and that alone should be disqualifying. For all the talk this week about his civility at the debate, let’s not forget: Deep down, he’s the same colossal dipshit who spews right-wing hate with distressing ease and continues to defend the big lie that the last election was stolen.”
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