Nov 1: Maybe I’ll just get some bad first drafting done, and that’s okay! Happy to be focusing on my writing this November.
Nov 2: Realized I have no plot. It needs more vampires . . . ? Sign up for acupuncture, cupping, and salt therapy to tap into my source energy.
Nov 4: Order five new journals to “help with the process.”
Nov 5: This is definitely harder than having a newborn. Canceled all my freelance projects so I can focus. Read a listicle on RealSimple about brain foods and decided to eat only blueberries and bananas.
Nov 8: Twitter tells me vampire sex sells so I’m marathoning True Blood for the fourth time.
Nov 9: Going deeper on research. The piles of books are making it hard to walk through the house. Hubby refuses to eat only fruit but I have to for mental acuity. Earmarked for our couples therapist in December when I have time to attend sessions.
Nov 12: Researching romance, rom coms, and true crime has led me to believe I should consider becoming the literary Tinder swindler to flesh out my plot.
Nov 13: 1,667 words a day is too much. Foraging for mushrooms has got to be easier, at least if I found some I could micro-dose.
Nov 15: Abandoned plot and decided to write an experimental novel. Cranked out 2,000 words today on my sensual dreams about eating chowder with Alexander Skarsgård. Suck it, Melville.
Nov 16: Call parents to discuss my masterpiece. They say the check is in the mail and hang up.
Nov 19: My border collie was accidentally crushed today when he ran under the pyramid of books in the living room. Going to try cats.
Nov 20: Spent day at the animal shelter but all cats have already been rescued. Just my luck, three other aspiring novelists got here first.
Nov 23: EMDR session to relive childhood trauma and mine my own psyche for unimpeachable content. I will NOT be canceled by YA Twitter.
Nov 24: Revisit email list of 200 from wedding to solicit beta readers. Queried every agent in Writer’s Digest. My novel might not be finished yet but they are going to want to get in on this early.
Nov 26: Forgot I left the stove on and lightly burned down the house.
Nov 27: Left son at the fire department after preschool to figure out my ending today. CPS coming tomorrow, but I have a vision now . . . Worth it.
Nov 29: Today a divorce attorney served me. He mentioned my hour-long livestream bragging about finishing a novel but that’s absurd. It’s not even the last day yet, how could I be finished?
Nov 30: Came out of a fugue state after winning NaNoWriMo. When I looked back at my laptop to read my masterpiece, there was only one usable sentence. It’s Anne Rice, but who can tell?
Dec 1: Now that the fumes have worn off, it’s clear I need more time. Writing a novel in 30 days isn’t really possible, you know? Ordered The 90-Day Novel on Prime. If it worked for Moshfegh, it can work for me.